Thursday, May 7, 2009

it's been 4 years already?

It seems like just yesterday that we were planning a wedding. Four years and almost 2 kids later... here we are now! This is an e-mail I sent my man today. Don't worry, this is rated G. I share this only because it tells how much this guy means to me and what a wonderful gift he's been in my life. The subject was "it's time for a little mush":

My Beloved,

And I can say that now with more conviction and understanding than I did 4 years ago. I know I often shy away from the verbal expression of my feelings (well, not the ugly ones...), but I have been very convicted recently that it is high time to put those fears behind me. I never want to be separated from you in death leaving either you wondering if you really ever meant anything to me or me wishing I had conveyed to you what you do mean to me. So here goes...

I am utterly amazed that you not only love me but that you treat me so well. You are truly a blessing and have been so used by God in my sanctification. You are so much less selfish than I am, so much more thoughtful of others, and a true servant. What a wonderful leader for our home. Ethan will surely have a wonderful model to follow and you have raised the bar for what Emory will expect from a man. I am so glad for this!

I know you are exhausted at night, but you are such an example to me by the way you remain completely engaged with the family rather than checking out when you get home, as many other men do. You don't even sit down, unless it is to play dolls with our little girl. This is so rare to find! And, I am so lucky to have found you. Actually, I think it is more like God dropped me in your lap. There is no denying that we belong together. There have been some really tough times already, I know, but I truly believe it has only served to convince me further that you really are the man for me.

Raising a family with you have been a joy and a delight. You are such a great dad and I fail in telling you this often enough. Please forgive how quick I am to point out the few short comings there are and how slow I am in telling you how glad I am that it is you who is my kids' daddy. Finding a man whose heart so mirrors my own in what we want our family to look like is something I never thought could ever happen to me, only to other people you read about in MTW magazines. Plus, we make pretty great looking kids... so far. I am so thankful for your understanding of the covenant and that you don't hold back in telling our daughter about our God. I am so thankful for the way in which you invite others into our home and encourage me to love others. Thank you for your wisdom and for being willing to teach me. Thank you for your repentant spirit that is so tender to the conviction of sin.

Thank you for seeking to make my life easier than it already is. Thank you for going to work everyday so that I can live my dream. Thank you for teaching Emory about Body life through your faithful service. Thank you for not being the kind of daddy who leaves it all up to me. Thank you for not abdicating your role as leader and head, but continually going to the mat to fight me when I try to usurp your role. And thank you, thank you, thank you for still thinking I am hot, even when I am 26 weeks pregnant.

I love you and look forward to it getting better with each year that passes!


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