Tuesday, June 3, 2008

failure...

As moms we fail often, and sometimes we fail big. Today I failed my daughter big. I required a type of obedience that I should not require until she is a wee bit older. As I realized that she had no idea what it was that I requiring, I also realized that I was not showing or telling her what the expected behavior was. I was expecting her to just get it. She's 19 months old now, we should be way past the point of reminders right? Ha.

After the "episode" I was heart broken. I prayed with her, asked her forgiveness, and then we cried together. An all too familiar scene in our home at times. I personally would have preferred to be coloring or playing with playdough and laughing togther. But, alas, this was God's divine appointment for me today. In His graciousness, it was also His divine appointment for me to run into not just one but three of the members of my church body today as we were out and about. Each one shared a "struggle" they were facing with their kid(s) and I realized that once again I had sinfully isolated myself. I don't know how it happens, but it happens nonetheless. I forget to spend time with other mothers. In some of the brief conversations I had today I realized we are all struggling with the same things... disobedience, how to teach sharing, children's fears, etc...

It is when we are isolated that the Enemy has a chance to trick me into thinking it is only my child who doesn't obey, doesn't share, doesn't trust me to have good things planned for them. And then I get angry and in an attempt to correct this undesireable behavior in my child I get harsh and forget to enjoy her. I forget I am training and begin to feel as though we are backsliding. She's not even two yet, so why do I think all the lessons should have been learned by now. It's going to be a long hard haul if I am frustrated now.

I need to remember that it a journey. I need to remember that Emory will always be in sin of some sort because we live in a fallen world. I need to not be surprised (maybe saddened) by her sin. She's a sinner! I'm a sinner, and a redeemed one at that, and I am convinced that rarely a moment goes by when I haven't sinned. I need to remember that I am in a fight for God's glory and not my convenience. And most of all, like one of my friends reminded me today at the park, I need to focus less on Emory and more on God.

So, a day that started out as a failure, has actually turned out to be quite a success! And God was so good to bring some of His people out of the shadows for my encouragement. I love the way God has designed Body life. I just wish I remembered more often that I was a part of it!

1 comment:

Robert and Tiffany Adams said...

What an encouraging post. Thanks for sharing and being so open. I love the new pic of Emory. That's definitely one of her classic poses.