this is why I don't buy lingerie...

Mostly because I just find it too darn embarrassing! I can just hear the laughter behind my back as I waltz in, 20 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, pushing my well-worn stroller, and perusing the slinky nightgowns. I usually lose my nerve and end up buying a nice set of flannel pj's. Well, I got a giftcard for Christmas, from my mother who obviously feels sorry for my husband, and I decided to use it about 2 weeks ago. We had a nice little family outing. We ate dinner in the food court, looked at some clothing sales for Miss Priss, and used Mommy's giftcard. Emory was close to total meltdown by the time we had made it to "THE" store, so her daddy was strolling her in the heart of the mall. When I came out of the store and found them, he asked me (a little too casually, I might add...) what I had decided on. You got it! A robe and a nice pair of flannel pj's that were on sale. His reply? (Picture puppy dog eyes and a forlorn tone) "When are you going to buy something with less fabric?"
Well, the flannel pj's have sat on my dresser for two weeks, unworn, because somehow I made it out of the store with the security tag still attached. So, today, the tot and I struck out to get my pj's fixed so I can wear them. While I was in "THE" store, I felt several pangs of remorse for dear hubby. Since the month of romance is coming up, I relented and bought something with "less fabric". I literally ran out of the store, keeping my head down so that no one I know would catch me, and went to pick up the watch I was having repaired at a jewelry store in the mall. While I was paying, the attendant helping me asked Emory, "You didn't feel like wearing both shoes today?"
You have got to be kidding me! The only time my eyes were not on her was while I was "selecting". So, I swallow my fear, and I am sure there was a little bit of pride there with it, and head back to get the #$%@ shoe. As I walk in the lady spots me and says, "Are you looking for a shoe?" "What gave it away?", I wanted to ask? So, she speaks into her headset (what do they need those things for, anyways?) and says "Cancel that Code Adam." Are you serious? A Code Adam? Over a lost shoe?
Moral of the story? Don't buy shoes with velcro for your toddlers. The shoes that I thought would make my life easier...

Comments

Mosshouse said…
Less fabric, eh? Maybe a sibling coming soon?
Beth Pruitt said…
Remember our trip to Florida? Me, you, Aimee and all 4 kids going into Victoria's Secret at Destin Commons after a morning of playing on the playground and in the fountains? It was after lunch, which was everyone's naptime, the kids were wet and either falling apart or running wild. (Was it Wilson that was doing the crawl-while-pushing-your-head-against-the-floor thing?) Anyway, as we stood going through clearance bins of bras, you said, loud enough for all the people staring at us to hear, that "this is Victoria's Secret, right here! This is what this stuff gets you!" I LOVED it!

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